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Very first of all, “flaws” is a very subjective term. A flaw to me might be different for someone else. Having said that, I’ve found that we do often do this for the same underlying reasons. This is, of course, from my practice and others’ practices.
There is something reassuring in the act of finding something “wrong” with other people besides ourselves. It makes us feel better about ourselves.
Two). We can only look for what we already know the best.
Sadly, this is often our own, and there is no more truth to the telling that we are our hardest judges. Which leads to…
Albeit it is very effortless to look at everyone as better than ourselves when at a low point in our lives, the opposite can also be the case. It’s so much lighter to look for flaws in people when we have a low self-esteem, as it acts as a filter of the world. Ever heard of “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”?
This ones is tide to the self-esteem one but it has to do with what you are looking for and the environment you are in. Attempt going around as a pessimist and you will not fail to find flaws everywhere. Optimism, on the other palm, has a funny way of working: you can still see the flaws, but you can turn them around and make them beautiful/special/unique/ etc.
To know what to expect, we must look at the good and the bad when evaluating an individual. As humans, in a very unpredictable world, we like to have as much stability as we possibly can get. Often this is done by assessing the worst of someone or something, at which point we can either abandon ship, prepare for it, or address it directly. This concept can apply to love life, friendships, work, and even family.
In a world where everyone “filters” their life, it’s very effortless to feel inadequate and limited. When looking for flaws, we are just attempting to feel validated to some extent, even those who pride themselves of being “above social norms or rules/trends”, you name it. Think about what people do to make others who are feeling down, feel better, it often is something that inflates other people’s flaws. All because deep inwards, we are looking for validation and that nobody truly is ideal, even if filters — be it virtual, like Instagram, or through a “honeymoon” effect created by the spectator — makes them look so.
Because it makes us feel better by comparison.
Is it a bit childish and immature? Yeah, of course.
But, this is what all of us do, whether we wish to agree or not.
As long as we don’t plan on pursuing “picking flaws” as a lifetime hobby, and sometimes indulge in it like that calorie-overflowing, artery-plugging dessert, it’s fairly ok.
Instinct ! I would say, on a scientific point of view …
On the other palm if we speak on philosophical terms, I would say that it is mainly because we don’t know our own weaknesses. In other words, our constant seeking of human imperfections are in the very first place a way to know ourselves better. Platoon said it, Socrates wrote it (over the door of his school actually).
Whether you are aware of it or not, it is every one’s aim.
Judgement is only based on individual practice. Otherwise, your empathic abilities are over developed, and this is as much an advantage, as it is a weakness.
Moreover, learning to decipher one’s weakness can be very useful to be successful in life. It is a true sign of intellect, that should not be underestimated.
Ultimately it leads to mass manipulation, despotism and dictatorship.
Apart from all this serious stuff I find it a excellent exercise, very entertaining. Being right is soo satisfying, and paradoxically, being wrong often gives you good impressions over someone.
I don’t see people, I see profiles. Hate me.
People do this because they are not committed yet to be involved in serious relationships with others. I am sure anyone who is ready to lodge down will look beyond someone’s flaws if they have actual feelings for them. Loving someone should be based on their good qualities and bad qualities (as long as their bad qualities are not harming anyone). Not everyone can afford to be flawless. It is just amusing how some people hold outstanding regards for their future fucking partner when I am sure they are not ideal themselves. This can be linked to narcissism and one’s view about themselves. How they always feel the need to look down on other people and believe that they are better than the rest of the world. They seek ways to establish set of principles that most people can not simply reach for.
Because we can’t accept the fact that someone might be better than us. It’s an ego thing.
If we can find at least one negative thing about other people we then feel superior to them and feel better about ourselves.
But this leads no where.
We all have negative and positive things. If we focused on positive things instead of negatives the world would be a better place.
It',s just like we all love the beautiful sunset in the evening and not that much the scene of sunrise.
It is human nature to overlook the good and instead concentrate on the bad in hopes that it can be switched or appropriately addressed.
They would be looking for flaws in the same way some would be looking for abilities:
To determine what somebody can be expected/trusted to do.