Here’s a goes up for the post 50 single fellows out there. We ladies are so excited when you choose us as the “doll” you want to meet. Hours before our date with you, we are worrying whether you’ll like us. Our bedroom floor is littered with clothes as we look for just the flawless clothing to impress you. We do our best to look good, hoping the two of us click. Then the date happens and sometimes we’re confused by who we meet.
1. Gentlemen, please dress like you care about yourself. You don’t have to wear a suit to impress us but it would be nice if you didn’t wear your baggiest jeans and a stained T-shirt. You may be losing weight but there are a zillion discount stores out there that will gladly sell you a nice pair of jeans and a polo style T-shirt for less than $50. It’s worth the investment if you want to get a 2nd date with us.
Two. Women are truly turned off and have no interest in smooching your bad teeth or skimming their lips over visible skin tags on your neck. Aging takes its toll on all of us physically, but don’t let that be an excuse for being messy. You may be the greatest man on the planet with the most voluptuous lips but if your teeth are missing or your skin has developed tags, then I assure you’re getting passed over for an issue that can be lightly immovable with a quick visit to your doctor or dentist.
Three. Please choose a picture that looks like you for your online dating profile. A friend recently had a date with a man who was 100 pounds stronger than his online picture exposed. She got to the restaurant and was incapable to identify her date. She resorted to calling him, figuring the stud who picked his phone up was her date. Display us who you indeed are. Doing a bait and switch with your pictures, hoping we’ll like you in person only makes us wonder what else you’re hiding.
Four. Please don’t embark our date by telling us gross stories like your dog has fleas, especially if we’ve hugged you. A client of mine actually had this happen. There’s no way we want to expose ourselves to situations that might be contagious. If anything, we’ll want to leave so we can go home and fumigate our clothes. Yuck!
Five. If you ask us out for a very first date, please pay. We’re blessed to share the bill with you at a later date but whoever does the asking should be the one pulling their wallet out. Please don’t ask us out if you can’t even afford a cup of coffee. Get your financial situation straightened out before dating.
6. We know if you like us, you want to impress us with all you do and have. You drone on and on about all the superb things in your life, even displaying us pictures of your house, your car, your landscaping and your dog. We want to get to know you, but a one-way monologue is boring. We were trained as little damsels to make you feel good so we listen. Most of us are not sure where to interject without appearing rude. It would be so helpful if you asked us questions too. Dialogue is much more joy!
7. Fellows, as you’ve aged you’ve become far more sultry in your political views. Many a woman has been coerced to listen to you pontificate about the world and how you feel it should be run. There’s nothing wrong with sharing your views. Just don’t lecture us for an hour and then expect us to go out with you again. After Ten minutes, you’ve totally turned us off.
8. Lastly, please don’t stick your tongue down our throats at the end of a very first date when you like us. A gentle smooch feels so much nicer. Women are far more into romantic love and a slow gentle smooch will make us want you more. The tongue thrust makes us think you’re at best overly aggressive and at worst a creep.
Okay, over 50’s studs out there, this was raunchy on you. My next article will be the fattest things women do to turn you off. If fact, feel free to make suggestions for what I should include in the comments.
In the meantime, if you indeed want to impress a woman consider keeping these eight turnoffs out of your dating repertoire. You’ll have far better luck finding the woman of your wishes when you do.